Well another crazy night!
I had such a nice day enjoying the sunshine and warm breeze. I had a good book and was hanging with my mom. I actually felt good. Even went for a walk!
I picked up some stuff at the grocery store and cooked a good,healthy meal and then bam! Palpatations!!!! Why...seriously...why! The day was the best in 2 1/2 months. Why did it have to end that way. Panic sets in. Do I need to go to the emergency room? Is this normal for me? Why do I have to be alone when this happens? Why won't it stop?
It was unsettling. I have never have it happen so many times in a short period of time. I called my brother who's opinion I really trust. He said not to worry it actually happens to him all the time. We taked for over an hour until I was as calm as I could be without my meds. I just hate that my beautiful day ended that way. I took my pill and managed to fall asleep an hour later.
I must mention my brother rocks. Pushes when he needs to and calm when he should be. I was a mess! Why?
I am going to try again today. That is ,let go the anxiety and head off to the beach. It is beautiful here and should not be wasted. The ER will be there if I need it later!
I just need to get to Tues. when I have my stress test. Once those results are in I can feel better. So next 10 days are...bloodwork, stress test, specalist in NY and finally the Gastro guy. In the middle of all this is weekly therapy! Thank god for her!!!! Some days it seems toooooo much. I need answers so I keep going. Thanks Mom and brother....thanks. I couldn't do this without you!!!!
I recently found out my neighbor has MS. I does put things in perspective. CFS.......MS. I feel lucky. Silly actually sometimes for complaining. Then I remember this is my life and I want to feel better and that's not too much to ask for. I will keep her in my prayers too!
Time to shower and pick myself up and move past the "poor me" feelings. Time to, as they say...
"suck it up". I am off to the beach to try and relax!!!